


Disaster

by TheonSugden



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Gen, M/M, Plane Crash, Vomit Mention, death mentions, disaster mentions
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-23
Updated: 2015-08-23
Packaged: 2018-04-16 21:09:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4640313
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheonSugden/pseuds/TheonSugden
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As a disaster strikes the village, Robert remembers the plane crash that decimated the village over 20 years earlier. He thinks of the boy he was then, and the man he is now.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Disaster

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this before the episodes aired.

Robert had slept through the plane crash. 

He’d gone to a million memorials, had seen the pain in Dad’s eyes every time he got back from another visit at Gran’s bedside or saw Mark’s old work shirt, but it had never happened to  _him_.

Adam was in a heap beside Chrissie, Chrissie keening and Adam coughing, holding onto each other like they were a couple on one of those hidden camera shows the Dingles probably yukked it up over every night.

Robert barely had time to shout where he was going, barely able to speak at all with the smoke in his throat.

“There’s nothing you can do!” Chrissie cried to him, or maybe to herself, as he left, and he knew she was right. 

He’d just make everything worse…or do his best and get blamed for making everything worse anyway.

The faster he ran, the more he remembered Mark, who’d always sat with him at the kids’ table to make him feel less alone, how he’d saved his life with the poison.

He remembered Gran’s husband, Leonard, who’d given him 20 quid, the biggest money he’d ever gotten, for Christmas, just to try to make Dad see that he was a good bloke.

He remembered Archie, who’d always talked about “making a difference,” something Robert still didn’t understand, who’d kept him company, cheered him up when Mr. Wilks died and Gran and Dad snapped at him for wanting a kickabout instead of sitting around looking sad all day.

He remembered Mrs. Feldman, who’d always been friendly, but never got close, even when her son practically lived at the farm. He remembered when he first told Andy about her, that “everyone knew” Pollard had bumped her off, and Andy smirked back at him, happy Robert had trusted him with such a secret.

He stopped to breathe, to hold back the vomit, at the thought of just remembering Andy or Vic or Diane or…

Or Aaron.

If they were all gone, he’d get the blame, and he’d take it. He’d take anything to get them back, even if he knew they’d never believe it. 

He’d told Aaron to die so many times, mocked him - he’d never really meant it, but he knew it hurt, so he said it, kept saying it. What if they’d been right at school, the other kids - if he said it enough, what if it had come true?

He’d wanted Andy to die, imagined him burnt alive the way Mum went, the way he’d seen her go and relived in his dreams for years. Now that it might have happened, he felt…he felt sick. 

And Vic was so good, the best of all of them. He couldn’t lose her. Even if he knew he already had, if she’d never forgive him again when he’d let her down so many times. Maybe after he’d saved Adam…or maybe she’d just hate him all over again in a few months, or a few days, or a few years.

When he saw the flames in the sky he was sure he saw Katie laughing at him like she had at the farmhouse that day. No, she wouldn’t do that…she wouldn’t hurt innocent people just to make him suffer. She was good, even at the end, when he hated her so much.

When he saw the hall, smoke and heat and screams crippling him, he screamed for Diane and Andy and Vic. 

He screamed for Aaron.

He saw Mum in the flames, screaming, calling out Dad’s name, calling for the boy who’d burnt alive with her, who was never coming back.

As he rushed in to help, to find the only good things he’d ever had, he made himself become that boy again. Even just for one day.


End file.
